House Poor....

According to http://www.investopedia.com, being "House Poor" is a situation that describes a person who spends a large proportion of his or her total income on home ownership, including mortgage payments, property taxes, maintenance and utilities. House poor individuals are short of cash for discretionary items and tend to have trouble meeting other financial obligations like vehicle payments.

I LOVE THIS TERM. I love it because I feel like I am house poor all the damned time...although I realize I am not. And I love it because it applies to so many other areas in life. You know ...like being Wedding Poor for those who plan these monstrous events but are 160 days past due on a credit card. Or there's Car Poor for the dude driving a Benz living in his mother's basement and dodging child support. And then there is Relationship Poor for...well that needs more that just a sentence. Shall we? Yes, lets. 

So I was sitting this weekend thinking about my past relationships and also examining some of the relationships I see around me. DISCLAIMER: Yeah yeah I know that no one really knows what's going on between two people and yeah yeah I know only THEY have to get it...yada yada blah blah. Anyway I was reflecting and I realized that in my life, on more than one occasion, I have been Relationship Poor. And I can also point out a few of those relationships happening around me. So what I mean by Relationship Poor is the times when I have put all my effort into maintaining a romantic relationship (usually one that ended up not being worth it) to the detriment and doom of other important relationships and activities in my life. 

Women do this kind of crap all the time - men do it too but not as often. We blow off girlfriends, miss deadlines,  argue with people because we are defending someone indefensible, and basically fail to meet other  relationship obligations because 80 - 90 percent of our time is spent trying to make something out of this "thing" that we already put so much energy in that we couldn't possibly pull out now…could we? 

Well I don't know. Sometimes being "Blank Poor" is a choice. Sometimes - like in my case...I don't really shop and I know that I should have more discretionary income, BUT my house is my sanctuary. So I really don’t mind missing out on some other things. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to always be in this position and yeah I know I still have more than most...but anyone who knows me knows that since I had a dorm room to myself, I have always made my surroundings my priority because I am not at peace if my space isn't in order and soothing and comfortable and inviting. 

Same goes for my relationships. I had a relationship in college that was classic Relationship Poor. This man's ego didn't allow room for much else. So I lost some friends, and I did the things he liked, and I didn't go to parties because "wifey" should be at home. (Bleh...the word wifey makes me want to spit. And I never spit) I arranged my class schedule so that I could see him. Real textbook low self esteem - my man is my world stuff. His mortgage, taxes, and maintenance almost bankrupted me. And yes, while he was not a bad guy, the investment wasn't worth it. 

But occasionally I think...sometimes it is. I mean it’s never worth losing loved ones or true friends. And its not worth missing deadlines.  But I do believe that in rare instances someone finds that person that is worth the second job to be able to pay for the "other stuff."  I think that sometimes people won't get why the effort is made and that's OK. And sometimes things may not end well and you'll lose the house you worked so tirelessly to maintain, but the time spent was important and priceless. Or it may turn out that you just needed to ride out this financial crunch and eventually you'll be able to have some wiggle room. Well I want to believe that at least.

Either way in this economy I think there are more cases of House Poor than I can even imagine. And at this time in my life - single female in my late 30s - the chance of me and my peers being Relationship Poor is much more likely. Because who wants to be alone. I for one am holding on to my dreams that property is the best and most sound investment. LOL! Time will tell.

Anyway - thanks for listening. You know the drill - I'll be here talking in any case.